Redefining a Friendship

Various Balinese Topeng (dance masks), Taman M...

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Redefining a friendship??? What on earth does this even mean? Are you planning on downgrading your “friend” from ‘talk on the phone 17 times a day and share funny little texts with each other’ to ‘coffee pals’? What do you want out of this? Do you want it to go the other way around? Redefine the friendship from coffee pals to intimate oneness? What game are you playing at?

Are you a girl trying to let a guy down easy? A guy trying to get a girl to get down? I’ll tell you what- Stop trying to redefine the friendship. It’s like getting sick of Rover because he’s been crapping all over the house and redefining your relationship with him from house-dog to backyard-dog. He’s not going to like it. And frankly, it’s not Rovers fault. It’s yours. Also, you’re missing the point.

Don’t blame Rover just because YOU tried to make him into something he’s not. Equally so, do not blame your dudeship for his/her behavior. Believe it- your behavior makes an enormous impact on what kind of relationship you have with the world around you.

Here’s the truth- If you lie about the kind of person you are, people will treat you like the lie you are trying to be. Believe it or not, humans have an incredible capacity for acceptance. People get themselves into trouble when they think that they need to lie to be accepted. Don’t fall into this seductive trap. If you want to be someone’s friend, then go and be their friend. Now. If you want to be romantically involved with someone, go… I don’t know… WOO them or something. Don’t try to achieve the latter by the means of the former. Equally so, do not try to achieve the former by means of the latter. Seriously though…

Repeat after me- It’s not his/her fault. It is mine.

No go do something about it. But honestly, start here…

You’re welcome,

Your pal,


This entry was posted in can men and women be friends, cross-gender, friend zone, platonic, redefining a friendship. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Redefining a Friendship

  1. Pingback: The Secret to Making Platonic Relationships With Your Ex Work

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