So now you know about dudeships. You’ve read the book. You’ve done your homework outside of class. You’re relationship is supposedly fixed. Now what??? Read on my friend.
1. You’re single- My hope for you is that you are more aware of the relationships in your life. Maybe you are madly in love with one of your friends. Well champ… it’s time to do something about it. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s better for you stop being the one to carry the burden of keeping the “friendship” together. Free up some time. Enroll in a yoga class. Find a hobby. Who knows? Try asking yourself this question- “Is this person fulfilling all my needs? Is my relationship with this person based on the merits of the current relationship? Or am I basing the joy I get from this relationship on the assumption that there will be ‘more’ in the future?”
The most important thing to ask yourself is this- Do my intentions with this relationship and his/her intentions with this relationship match up? Or are one of us(wouldn’t it be nice if it was “BOTH of us”?)hoping/waiting/lusting etc. for something else? Think about it for a moment.
2. You’re in a CR- My hope for you is that you’ve asked yourself a series of questions such as “Who is more important, the dudeships in my life, or my CR?” as well as “Is what I’m doing/ who I’m hanging out with hurting or helping the health of my most important relationships?”. Ultimately my hope for you is that you see things for what they are, and that the cloud of confusion that sits on our everyday lives has been lifted, and that you can see clearly what has been in front of your face this whole time. An article we came across recently gives another, corroborating perspective focusing on the merits of seeing dudeships for what they really are when you are in the midst of a committed relationship- http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/health/2013907660_friend13.html?syndication=rss Enjoy.
Food for thought- Figure out what is important to you and protect it.