Have you ever graded someone based on their looks on a scale of 1 through 10? Don’t lie. I know you have. I have too. Ever find yourself saying “She’s/He’s about a 6, but with a good personality she/he could probably be about a 7 or maybe even a low 8!” Well first of all… this doesn’t make much sense since you were only basing your “grade” off their looks. HOWEVER, this does illustrate an interesting point- A point that we like to call “The Scales”.
The Scales are a more accurate way of describing your thoughts on a man or woman that you are “grading”. We use the Physical Attractiveness Scale, which is simply based on looks(the traditional 1-10 scale we all know and love.), and the Emotional Connection Scale, which is a 1-10 scale based off of the intangible qualities of your relationship to that person. The Combination Scale takes into account both of these scales, and gives us a more accurate representation of how you view the person. For example, a person can be a 5 on the PA Scale, but a 9 on the EC Scale, and thus land somewhere in the 7-8 range on the Combo Scale.
Is this scientific? Nope. Is it useful, practical, and help us to clarify the blurry picture that is male-female relationships? YES. (Put it this way… when was the last time you actually used E = MC^2? Ok… Now when was the last time you and your friends rated someone else on a scale of 1 to 10. …Moving on.) Here’s the scales in-depth straight from page 18 of our Dudeships Book on www.dudeships.net (Check it out and let us know what you think below!)
Physical Attractiveness Scale: How attractive you find someone based purely on physical looks.
We use a 0-10 scale. 0 is a man’s attraction to another man. 9 would be the person considers the other person very physically attractive. 10 is the most attractive person you can ever imagine- there might be a 10 out there, but like Big Foot remains to be proved unequivocally.
Emotional Connection Scale: How emotionally invested/attached to the other person.
We use a 0-10 scale. 0 means you have no contact with the other person. 10 would be wanting to hang out all the time, love talking, investing in the other persons’ life, wrapping up your happiness with the other persons’ well-being. The idea here is that this scale climbs slowly from 0 upwards as you get to know the person better and better.
Combination Scale: How you view the other person physically taking into consideration the emotional connection you have towards them.
As your emotional connection to someone climbs, your willingness to look past your initial ideas of how the person looks grows and grows. Also, as you get older, looks start to matter less and less as our values and goals in life change. The idea here is that this scale more accurately represents your inclination to be attracted to someone, and that it can fluctuate over time.
So what does all this mean in terms of the question “Can men and women be friends?”. Well… since the Emotional Connection between two people is in a constant state of flux, it means that the Combination Scale can also fluctuate over time. This means that a “friend” of yours of the opposite gender could steadily climb on the Combo Scale and someday seem, very very attractive to you. Think about it. Have you ever seen a friend fall for a friend, even after they’ve spent years being strictly(seemingly) platonic? What are your thoughts on all this? Comment Below!